Composing Your Profile Biography

By admin

Now that you’ve selected the best possible photo for your profile, it’s time to compose your profile biography. We know most people would rather have root canal surgery than write about themselves, but if it accomplishes nothing else, it is an excellent exercise in introspection.

Every one of us is unique, and it is those characteristics that you and you alone possess that should be expressed in your profile. Cliché descriptions like “fun-loving” and “easy-going” are descriptive only of a non-original thinker and don’t really say anything useful to a prospective date. “Fun” could mean anything from watching television to long-distance swimming to a quick romp in the hay, both to you and your readers. Under the circumstances, it behoves you to be specific about your particular definition of the word.

The same goes for physical descriptions. Playing a game of golf a couple of times a year does not automatically give you an “athletic” build, just as being as wide as you are tall doesn’t make you “petite”, even if you’re only five feet high. Many of us tend to overlook the depredations of time and still have a mental picture of the way we were twenty or thirty years ago. This is wishful thinking and there is nothing to be gained by describing what once was. Of course, if you were an Olympic contender in your youth, that’s an interesting fact that can be shared, but you should make it clear that you don’t do high hurdles any more (unless you’re one of those middle-aged phenomena we sometimes read about). In other words, be honest about your current physicality and don’t talk about what you used to be.

Keep in mind that it’s always better to underplay your assets than to exaggerate them. Think how much better an impression is left by being pleasantly surprised at first meeting than by dashing someone’s expectations of something unreal. By the way, it’s a really bad idea to make last minute changes in your appearance before a first date. If your picture depicts a long-haired brunette, don’t decide to turn yourself into a bobbed blond the day before you meet someone in person for the first time. You may look fabulous, but the shock of expecting one thing and getting something entirely different trumps a startling change, regardless of its flattering effect.

It’s also a bad idea to discuss past hurt and present bitterness when composing your profile. Once you’ve lived a half-century or more, it’s inevitable that you have experienced a certain amount of disappointment or even downright tragedy, but adding these details will not attract the kind of person you want in your life. There are thousands of predators on the Internet who do nothing but search for sad and lonely souls who are natural prey for a certain kind of emotional vulture. These bad guys (and women) smell desperation the way a hyena senses carrion and they pounce with the same viciousness. Don’t invite their attention by dwelling on the tragic aspects of your past. Your two watchwords should always be “upbeat” and “honest”, and if you can’t do both, wait until a happier day to write your profile biography.

Keep in mind that once you’ve committed yourself to clicking that “enter” key, you’re introducing yourself to the world. Read, re-read, edit, correct and do it again. If possible, have someone you trust look it over and discuss it, too. Just as your picture speaks a thousand words, your words portray a close-up of you, so it’s important that you develop a clear, true portrait of your best self.